Solving Conflict in the Church

　

　

By

William L. Seitshiro 121

　

　
　

Introduction

Conflicts are a reality and no one can ignore them, the author of the study guide managing conflict Ronald L. Sommers starts his book by saying "‘Conflicts are inevitable, but combat is optional’(Lucado 1999, 72)" (2011, 17). In my paper I will be addressing conflict in the church as follows; Characteristics of a conflict, Strategy of a conflict, reflection on a conflict.

Characteristics of conflict

Demonstration of various elements of the conflict of the Irungu family and the church

There are diverse sects in the church and they affect the church. The concept of the rich belong too the rich and the poor belong to the poor destroys the faith. The conflict that arose in the church has reached to Adjustments. "Adjustments are changes that people make to end conflict. They may be made wisely or poorly. Negative adjustments include separation, seeking to dominate the other party, or attempting to return to the past relationship."(Sommers 2011, 27)

Issues that contributed to the conflict in the family and the church

The source of this conflict is different way of thinking. As we have learned that the conflict arose because the rich young man wanted to marry a poor young lady. Coming against the sects in the church was an issue for those who have money and also the issue might be caused by different values and cultures. Graig E. Runde and Tim A Flanagan contend that "some team members may have divided interest in what is good for the team and what is good for their home department"(2008, 27). The irungu family tried to do what was necessary for their family and the church, because they themselves belonged to a certain sect in the church and did not want their child to be in the other sect. Individual differences are an issue in the church. The irungu family felt like they are way different from Mary’s family. Therefore they wanted nothing to do with them.

The basis for the approach to the conflict take by the father, son, older people and the young people including the pastor.

The case study shows clearly that the conflict was handled unprofessionally. The father was avoiding banning the couple from their house, the son was accommodative because he would come to the church as a normal person and attend the service though his parents and other people did not want him. Older people were competing because they wanted people to go with their own way of doing things, including the young people they wanted the old way to change and let people do their own choice or else they will leave. The Pastor on the other hand wanted the church to live in peace that’s why he took no action when the couple came back and he was asked to rebuke the couple, .the pastor therefore was accommodative.

The principal that Jesus teaches that are being ignored

"When Jesus begins his teaching ministry in Matthew 5, he focused on eight heart attitudes: poor in spirit, mourning over sin, meekness, hungering, thirsting for righteousness, merciful, pure in heart, peacemaking, and enduring persecution with joy(5:3-12). He then describes how living in those attitudes causes people to penetrate and brighten up the world as sat and light (vv. 13-16)"(Sommers 2011, 118).

Strategy of a conflict

Preparing your heart to manage this conflict

The key to managing this conflict is too refer the congregation to the teaching of our Lord Jesus in luke3:17 on forgiveness, because Jesus said, so watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him ( NIV). "Jesus is concerned that we maintain an attitude that desires to forgive and help those who offend us, rather than an attitude off revenge and hatred" (Stamps 2007, 1420). Forgiveness is the heart attitude that will need to be emphasized in this conflict, Including acceptance and openness.

Elements that are needed from the three phases of conflict management for this conflict management strategy

Phase 2 teaches us to develop a relational atmosphere. As a leader, when conflict has moved to negative adjustments and confrontation, one should not act by emotions but in wisdom and intelligence. Positive confrontation as a leader is needed to bring people in harmony and settle the matter, starting with spiritual foundations, encourage the trust between the people, agree on ground rules, and end the meeting with optimism. "These insights into emotional self-control and developing empathy for others are important in helping manage relationship within a team, particularly when conflict has moved from task to relationship conflict". (Runde and Flanagan 2008, 66)

Improvements in church organization to reduce this conflict

Leadership is an important role, not only in the church or company but everywhere even in your house as a father or mother, because there are people that are allways waiting for your guiedence. Being a leader means having a vision and implementing it, so that the people might follow. Having groups to brain storm on how to put the vision in action is a good organizational need, therefore it will reduce conflict in the church. In this church the pastor should try to bring the young people and older people together whether rich or poor. "Strengthening an organization through improving ownership of vision, communication, decision making, training , planning, structure, and follow through will certainly reduce unnecessary conflict and turn other conflict into positive growth and action"(Sommers 2011, 215).

Negative out comes that will appear if the conflict is not managed well

There are many negative out comes of un-managed conflict. Most of the times in our days there are church splits, whereby two kinds of groups decide that they can’t be together in the same church they might as well split so that there will be no conflict. If the church does not split then countless things will be wasted for instance, money, wasted time, bad decision’s, lower motivations, leader resignation, broken friendships etc. "the responsibility of any leader is to help individuals and teams reach their personal and group goals while improving relationships. This ideal may not always be reachable, but it is important to try." (Sommers 2011, 237)

Reflection on a conflict

What could have been done with the family?

"‘Conflicts are inevitable, but combat is optional’ (Lucado 1999, 72)" (2011, 17). The pastor should have dealt with the family and counseled them in private, then understand the cause of this conflict then Start with spiritual foundation, make the family agree on ground rules then end the meeting with optimism. The pastor should have been positive and spoken to the family before the conflict gets out of hand.

　

　

Conclusion

As I have mentioned in the beginning of my paper, Conflicts are a reality and no one can ignore them, the author of the study guide managing conflict Ronald L. Sommers starts his book by saying "‘Conflicts are inevitable, but combat is optional’(Lucado 1999, 72)" (2011, 17). In my paper I have addressed conflict in the church as follows; Characteristics of a conflict, Strategy of a conflict, reflection on a conflict.

　

　

Reflection

Sommers, Ronald L., 2011, Managing Conflict, Global University, Springfield Missouri,

Runde, Craig E., & Flanagan, Tim A., 2008, Building Conflict Competent Teams, Wiley imprint, San Francisco

Stamps, Donald C., 2007, Fire Bible: Student Edition, Zondervan, Springfield Missouri